So, I watched the new episode of Game of Thrones at my friend’s house, and while a lot of the episode was sort of set-up and filler (Here’s what our characters have been up to on Game of Thrones while you’ve been away!), I still enjoyed it. And—as per usual—I had thoughts. Mostly, my thoughts ran along the lines of “Is it going to bother everyone’s watching experience if I get up to pee?” and “I should have brought a box of Franzia,” but I had other thoughts too. Game of Thrones-related thoughts. In the next few posts, I’m gonna give you some of the ones I found most worth mentioning:
Reports have been made that the show’s budget has increased this season, and nowhere is that more evident than in the scenery, the wardrobe and the CGI. Those long, extended shots of Dragonstone as Dany meandered her way through the castle of her birth were immersive and gorgeously-detailed and I appreciated it. The wardrobe is going to be getting its own section later on, and the dragons actually didn’t look like clumsily-rendered cartoon lizards. It was a beautiful opening episode, by and large.
It was dismaying to see, however, that evidently the showrunners David Benioff and D. B. Weiss did not save any of that budgetary increase for hair and makeup. Specifically, Cersei’s hair. Because
Is this supposed to be a joke? I’m relatively sure Lena Headey wears a wig because she’s a natural brunette and recent photos of her on her Twitter depict her hair as much longer than this, but still. They couldn’t afford a better wig than this? Is that real hair? Because I have seen Barbies serving hotter looks than that. It’s not just the cut—yes, I understand her hair was forcefully shorn from her head by the Faith and that they probably did not go to the nicest salon to do it—but also the color. Did we have to make her look absolutely as shitty as possible? But, it isn’t like an intentional shitty. If I felt like that was the goal, to make her look shitty and tired and haggard, I would be down with it, but this doesn’t look shitty in that way. This looks shitty as in cheap.
I’ve seen that color before. Know where? The crackhead gals who used to prance around my hometown streets. Forty-something women in their twelve-year-old daughter’s clothes, bodies like beef jerky wrapped in purple tank tops that bared their abdomen and shorts with cartoon characters on them, these haunting heroin hotties sauntered around town with the confidence and ego that only meth can provide. Their cheeks always had these iron lines carved in them, false illusions of bone structure given to them by malnutrition and constant teeth-grinding, and their hair was always this burnout orange-yellow that looked like smoker’s teeth and old, fried egg yolks. Cersei blonde. That is the name of that color and I, for one, am not going to stand for it anymore.
Producers and hairstylists of Game of Thrones, please, I implore you, do something about this. I will go down to Ulta myself and purchase a bottle of toning shampoo for blondes. You don’t even have to reimburse me. Just please fix. Kthxluvubyeeeeeee